people are people so why should it be

people are dumb. even sometimes a friend will surprise me by saying something dumb, but we all do that from time to time without realizing it, so I give that person the benefit of the doubt and move past it. shrug it off, ignore it, laugh at it, and move on. every so often though, it's your friends that say or do something that really gets under your skin more than anyone else could. for me, it's definitely a function of expectations - expecting more from the people you value the most. so the point of this babbling is that i was really honestly insulted today and it hit me like a ton of bricks. outright insulted. had it not been a friend, i would have unleashed my worst, but it was and thus, i couldn't say anything. not to mention it was like this person was targeting my greatest insecurity. so now i've been upset all day from something someone else did but that i feel like shit about.

why can't we tell our friends that they've hurt us? we don't want to hurt them back? sure. an insult is thrown. an i've-been-hurt speech is thrown back. is that not another character attack? are you not telling that person that he/she is insulting to the nth degree? ... maybe, maybe not. is the true test of a friendship whether you can or cannot tell your friend what they've done has hurt you? i mean, we're so quick to say that our friends are so nice and so giving, but when it comes to having to tell them anything else, we flake. if friendship is based on trust than i would certainly think it's important to tell each other when you feel like a pile because of them, as long as it's communicated properly. granted, it's not necessary every time he/she says something ignorant or does something dumb, but surely it's important in the most severe cases. i think that's the reasoning i've generally followed... especially with great, worthwhile friendships...

so how is it that in this instance concerning a person i genuinely care about, i won't say a thing?...