the most sumptuous

duuuuude. got some HOT stuff at victoria's secret today. muy muy caliente. it was like an asian american justice center ladies party this afternoon. we all left work around 6pm and magically, every one of us females went next door for the big bin sale. i went with connie and rukku and turned around to find pang hua. you should've seen the light in our eyes - we were gleaming with joy.

there is nothing like bra and panty bonding with your girls. the colors, the textures, the sheer bliss of push-up and v-string. seamless and strapless and halter. oh my! it's so fun. "ooooh it's red. and check out those strings. is that satin? where's that go... oh. hooooot." i love it. i think lingerie is just something that makes women feel sexy and attractive, and the best part is no matter whether a woman is attached, unattached, or something in between, she can do it for herself. it's empowering to know that you're donning the hottest little number under your suit - and it's even more empowering that no one but you knows. lingerie doesn't just have an effect on men - it has an effect on women. when a woman wears lingerie for herself, she radiates a quality of confidence and beauty. and let me tell you, every woman deserves to feel comfortable, lovely, and wanted.

yay for the panty! who knew so little could do so much.

i think flowers are nice. i think chocolate is stupid, but i think flowers are nice. and not just your traditional red roses - i'm not talking about those (though red roses are still nice). yellow roses - now those are nice. they're cheerful. they say, "i love you, but you know, i also like you too. we're friends and that's neat." now isn't that... nice?

and daisies. can we just talk about daisies for a second. why are they so underrated? now i know i don't speak for all women, but personally, i think daisies from any man is just a happy, friendly gesture. they're so bright and smiley. your lady-friend is sick. you bring her daisies. poof! smiles all around. and i think if you get a girlfriend some daisies and she doesn't like them, and she's like, "what are these? daisies?" then she's really just kind of... well, she's just... not so nice. and you're obviously nice because you got her daisies. so, nice guy + not nice girl gives you what? - zero. it's like an equation. you knock each other out. i'm just sayin, men be careful of chicks that don't like your daisies.

literally, not figuratively. gosh.

bugger

fuck. here we go again. w. david hager - beloved ob-gyn from kentucky, the man who president bush wanted to appoint to an essential role in the fda, the man who refuses to dispense various forms of birth control to his patients because it offends his moral values - that dr. moral values, that one - raped his ex-wife repeatedly from 1995 to 2002, when she finally left him. oh, and he didn't just rape her vaginally. he raped her anally, while she was taking medication being used to treat her narcolepsy. the man buggered his wife while she slept.

the details can be found in the may 12th edition of the nation. the story is sordid, and i don't want to quote any of it here. you can read it for yourself. quite frankly, the man clearly has serious hang-ups about sex. but duh. most of us could have told you that given the things he has said and done in the past. he's obsessed with sex; he's obsessed with the idea that women can't be trusted with their bodies, that they need a paternalistic doctor to tell them how their reproductive systems really work, and how if they gave themselves to jesus, their ills would be cured.

some of you may remember hager as the asswipe that the current president appointed to the fda's advisory committee for reproductive health drugs. he was one of the few members of this committee who voted against making plan b available over the counter. his reasoning? - it would encourage adolescents to engage in unsafe sex. (the fact that he considers plan b to be an abortifacient was not a factor. yeah, right.)

so, hager is not exactly the man i want with his hands in my vagina while i'm getting my annual pelvic exam. he and i do no see eye-to-eye on women's health care issues. my question is, why do misogynistic fucknuts like this go into obstetrics and gynecology? sheeeesh. i wonder if it's because he's a little insecure in his manhood? wants to have power over women? wants women to come to his office and tell them all about their sexual histories while he hides his woody under his desk while lecturing them on their immoral abuses of their god-given womanly parts?

so, tell me again. w stands for women? not quite. w stands behind men who anally rape their wives - better to see the view.

Bling Bling

I HATE those women. Those I-dress-up-to-exercise women. I despise them - them and their bling hoops and their Tiffany's bracelet sparkling in the sun while their hair is up in an obviously perfected ponytail, slung back with half a can of Aquanet and a series of matching glittered hair clips. But wait! Is that eyeshadow and cheekblush I see?! How fabulous!

I'm so happy to see so many women making a special effort to take good care of themselves. I can only dream of what the future will bring to the exercising women of America. Stockings, maybe? A sleek north face bra and panty exercising uniform? No. Hush. The excitement will keep me up all night.

silky smooth
lips as sweet as candy
tight blue jeans
skin that shows in patches
strong inside but you don't know it
good little girls they never show it
when you open up your mouth to speak
could you be a little weak?

do you know what it feels like for a girl?
do you know what it feels like in this world
for a girl?

hair that twirls on finger tips so gently
hands that rest on jutting hips repenting
hurt that's not supposed to show and
tears that fall when no one knows
when you're trying hard to be your best
could you be a little less?

do you know what it feels like for a girl?
what it feels like in this world
for a girl?

pussies unite!

the vagina monologues
were
AMAZING!

i cried when it was over. during the second show, after i had performed my monologue, i stayed back with carol and some other lovely ladies and watched the rest of the show sidestage. i think we were all having a hard time accepting that 1) we had actually been a part of such an incredible performance and 2) that it was soon to be over. so many talented women. so many new friends. so many memories...

aside from their talent, however, i feel honored to have known so many women who went into the monologues hoping to affect change. so much of what we do in college is self-indulging, and though this was an amazing theatrical performance, it also had a strong message. i like to think that i was a part of something bigger than myself - a campaign to end violence against women and even a chance for people to understand womanhood better.

some old professors and GSIs attended, in addition to some of my current students. friends and family were there, and even as i write today, a whole week after the show, i am still receiving personal emails from strangers about how much they enjoyed the performance. apparently, one of my old high school teachers was there: "i was shocked and amazed at how talented a cast you were... i laughed and cried and was left in awe. your performance, avani, was astonishly powerful and thought-provoking... you can guarantee i'll be there next year." i saved that email; i still get teary-eyed every time i read it.

my only disappointment was in realizing that many of my friends would and did not come. this was certainly important to me, but moreso, i think it was the kind of show that goes beyond performance - it creates awareness, something everyone could use a little more of. regardless of this fact, the vagina monologues was a production that i am happy to have been a part of; one that will and has immensely affected me. i think everyone that was involved in it should feel proud, accomplished, and gifted. in words of my father, "you are all going places." no one could ever be more right.

i love you, vaginas.