happy wall

last year, i started taping things that i'd received that made me happy to my wall. pictures, cards, drawings, letters. anytime i felt a little low, i would glance at my ever-growing wall of happiness and remind myself of the things that people had done for me that made me happy... moreso, the people that made me happy. i think it was in response to junior year - living alone as an RA, away from friends... i'm not going to get into it, but it was a hard time for me and a huge readjustment.

today i came home and realized i hadn't added anything in months. no written treasures. no warm fuzzies. nothing. not to say that i wasn't struck with happiness, but it was a little disheartening. there are plenty of great things people have done for me recently yet, for some reason, i hadn't added anything. i started thinking: maybe my happy wall was more of a remnant of the past that i tried to stick to this year. on a more positive note, i thought, maybe i didn't need a happy wall?

it was odd when i realized i rarely talk to half the people who are linked to the existing wall. everything from sheer proximity to grad school apps seem to keep me and these individuals separated. it was sad in a way, but also served as a positive reminder: things go on, people separate & move on, but nothing changes if you love each other.

so i've been thinking about taking my happy wall down. i'm starting to feel as though i don't need a reminder about the old things that made me happy... at least, not anymore.