Bling Bling

I HATE those women. Those I-dress-up-to-exercise women. I despise them - them and their bling hoops and their Tiffany's bracelet sparkling in the sun while their hair is up in an obviously perfected ponytail, slung back with half a can of Aquanet and a series of matching glittered hair clips. But wait! Is that eyeshadow and cheekblush I see?! How fabulous!

I'm so happy to see so many women making a special effort to take good care of themselves. I can only dream of what the future will bring to the exercising women of America. Stockings, maybe? A sleek north face bra and panty exercising uniform? No. Hush. The excitement will keep me up all night.