i'm having a massive breakdown.

yesterday, after a long long long day, i walked into my house, put my bag down, and started crying like a baby in the foyer. my parents came over to try and comfort me while i babbled some nonsense through my tears on the living room couch - they nodded while i talked, the way you do when you're waiting for someone to finish. half an hour later, i was in the wimpering stage. my words had become more coherent but they were punctuated with short breaths every 3 to 4 seconds - the way kids half cry after they've been talked down. an hour later, when i'd done all the crying i could, i picked a fight with my parents and stormed up the stairs to sulk.

i think i need some better coping mechanisms. and thicker skin. and fewer emotions. i should be more carefree. a more "eh, shit happens" mentality.

dammit. i suck at this.