last night i got a call from a guy i met when i was out this weekend - a nice, good-looking, smart, seemingly normal male. after about 10 minutes of conversation he asked if i wanted to get dinner, followed by a "and yeah. i'm asking you on a date." i laughed. apparently, he's funny too.
believe me, even i was suprised at my own response when i turned him down. "really?" he said. "shit. i thought i was doing ok." the thing is, he was. when he asked me why i wasn't interested, i didn't want to answer, so i diverted to my usual tactic of saying something funny: tigers game - men in tight pants throwing balls - can't miss it. apparently, he liked this and thought i was funny too. "crap," i thought. i turned him on.
in the end, we spent another 5 minutes on the phone with him telling me we should still hang out and me thinking "that's what you're saying now." still, i could understand his frustration with meeting women and then getting shot down for no good reason, so i caved & agreed to coffee sometime. but no, there will be no dating.
my formal announcment of my break from dating came yesterday to my roommate right before dinner. she looked at me the way you look at an abused animal: with incredible sadness, tainted with contempt for my abusers. "but i thought you wanted to meet somebody..." well, i do, thought i... somebody normal. but let's face it people - men are crazy, and i'm exhausted. i don't really know how to play the game, and i refuse to play games, so, i told her, i should just get out.
now, i realize i'm a pretty hot little piece of ass, and that just a few months ago i'd decided to accept the dating challenge from those i'd found worthy. and i'm sure to be changing my tune at some point in the future when some guy makes a big gesture (i love big gestures) and i'm falling all over myself. but for now, here's what i've learned: i can't seem to distinguish the normal ones from the screwed up. if i could have it my way, i'd inject 'the potential' with truth serum & ask him a few questions before the first hi hello: are you interested in taking advantage of me? are you emotionally schizophrenic? a momma's boy? do you have any self-destructive tendencies? do you really think you look good in that? you know, just a series of basic questions to know what i'm getting into. but i can't do that, and i'm sort of tired of being strung along only to find out later that the dude's got secret motives and issues.
so for now, i've taken to doing my own thing. not cause i "need time alone" or "to heal" or some bullshit like that. i'm just... tired. i recorded for the first time in a while last week. fun. i'm yoga-ing again. also, fun. i'm cooking for one - more for me. all-in-all, seems like a good deal. maybe it'll help to make my next relationship a "secured transaction."
oh god. lame law school joke.
i'm already starting to disagree with what i just wrote. go figure.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
five mysteries hold the keys to the unseen: the act of love, the birth of a baby, the contemplation of great art, being in the presense of death or disaster, and hearing the human voice lifted in song. these are the occasions when the bolts of the universe fly open and we're given a glimpse of what is hidden; an eff of the ineffable.
Categories of ineffable stuff
- adulthood (5)
- change (9)
- college (2)
- d.c. (11)
- embarrassment (1)
- facebook (1)
- family (1)
- forgiveness (1)
- friendship (8)
- law (1)
- law school (11)
- life (12)
- love (18)
- me (1)
- men (10)
- music (2)
- new york new york (7)
- politics (7)
- quote of the moment (8)
- reflections on nothing really that deep (10)
- relationships (14)
- religion (5)
- weakness (4)
- women (6)
They like me, they really like me
Stuff I wrote ... before
On the nightstand
On rotation
16 comments:
Hey Sweetie.
Got your email about the Chi-town offer and I'm super happy for you! You may most definitely move in with me if that's what it takes to get you here.
And you're right, we men are pretty crazy... Sometimes that's hard to accept when we never realized it... But go easy on us. Give us a chance! We've always been a little behind. =-)
Wait, men are crazy?
I thought the rule was: men are dumb, girls are mean.
Am I wrong?
My whole world is collapsing around me!
men ARE dumb... and mean. from mars. the whole thing.
they're also irresistible. and nice when they feel like it. which is problematic.
*sigh*
ok... who are you grridd?
ok, i get that men are crazy, but they're (we're i guess) not mean, just a bit clueless
like ALL people, least that's my opinion---everyone is pretty self-involved, tho it seems girls are less likely to be so (least of the people i know)
[random thought, have you listened to aberdeen city--it's a band i've been diggin, you might also...]
so, in short, concurrence, you go, and all that---and i think that you should somehow get on the supreme court and require truth serum tests before all dating/presidential runs
ha
and i'm glad to hear you're recording/yogaing/cooking--all three of which are rockin
i need to get to exercising and similar activities myself...
to repeat, you go
Oh my god you ARE Carrie Bradshaw.
Minus the selfish, cheating on men part, and the fact that you're smarter, and sing. And cook. And would like to save the world...
Okay. So you're your own person, but you certainly have a way with words that very Carrie reminiscent... And you're cute.
Did I spell reminiscent right?
i'm in class & i like your pretty new pictures.
and your friend is right. we are a little clueless... we never realize when we're being jerks... hm.
Hey hey, let's not put words in my mouth. Boys are dumb. Just dumb. Some of them may be mean, just as some girls are dumb, but as a rule, boys are dumb, and not mean, whereas girls are mean, but not usually so dumb.
I'm a little surprised you don't know me. That is to say, you do know me--I'm not some stranger that just wandered in out of the rainy darkness of the internet--but don't recognize me. Think of the most average guy you know (average height, average build, plodding intellect (we've already established the dumb part above)), and you probably have me in mind.
If that doesn't spark your memory, as an added hint, you and I once lived in the same apartment. That should narrow it down.
ok... that narrows you down to 2 people...
i need to stop living with men.
i think you should go on the date.
could be fun...
grridd.
i know who you are.
hello. =)
people who are single often think that "society" has deemed them not capable/worthy of love, affection, and adoration, leading often to feelings of self-doubt and insecurity.
but not for you, my friend! you KNOW you are an attractive, motivated, funny, talented woman (in other words "marketable"). for you, being single is liberating and empowering, freeing you from romantic attachments to anyone but yourself (and i know how in love with you you are) and from the game and the accompanying headache. so go on, pursue your hobbies and fill your time with things that make you happy. having your happiness tied up in a relationship with someone else (especially in the beginning), regardless of to what extent, always exposes you a little, and makes you vulnerable. not so with the people and activities you cherish.
in conclusion, i endorse your decision and carry on! (but ditch the law school jokes)
yet another person i don't know... jaid?? who are you?
wait... jason? ja id. oh sheesh it's you, isn't it?
HA. gotcha.
Drats! My cover blown!
Oh my goodness I said the exact same thing about relationships about a month before you said it..."I want my next relationship to be a secured transaction." I'm sick of lies and unmet expectations and getting hurt and wasting time that could be spent on personal development and helping make the world just a little more just. So unless I can get an attachment on some collateral (and I'll need to AUTHENTICATE that security agreement first, baby!), no dice!
~ Becky
Post a Comment