the cry fest

wow it sucks to be back in chapel not-so-thrill. a lot of nothing felt a whole lot good. break - good. sleeping in - gooooood. family - good. friends - good. law school - not good. so yeah. *sigh*

but my mom said some things to me today worth noting about my general unhappiness. it went sort of like this:

mom: what's wrong?
me: you know... i've just got my brain wrapped around the same old stuff. i just don't want to be here right now...
mom: i know, but the more you tell yourself that, the worse it'll be. just try & focus on school and block out the other stuff.
me: easier said than done, mom.

pause

me: hello?

pause

me: hellooo?
mom: let some things go.
me: what?
mom: let some things go.
me: what are you talking about?
mom: i mean, being sensitive is wonderful. it makes you caring, considerate, compassionate. but it also means you take things personally, that you dwell on matters that you've thought enough about. let them go.
me: but i don't...
mom: doesn't matter if you don't understand why certain things happen. sometimes, people are a certain way because they are. sometimes, it doesn't matter what you do. so let it go. some things are resolved, you're just not seeing the resolution.

mom and i kept talking for a bit about this and that. she kept giving me pieces of advice and i just did a lot of listening. of course, before i hung up she told me to make sure i drank milk. (typical asian mom.) so while things in my heart don't feel completely resolved right now, i feel a little better. friends from home - this is not permission for you to stop calling me. it's simply me saying the following:
1) i'll be ok
2) with you by my side
3) and listen to your mom