like any other living, breathing, bored person on earth i was full of it when i heard that dear old babs and barry were going to reunite & fill everyone's worlds with magical wonder one more time before she dies. hopefully. and how could you NOT know about this wondrous new cd/vinyl/tape/8-track coming out? it's got its very own COMMERCIAL, kids. and from it, you can really tell how much they get along. look how genuine they look, leaning in closely but not TOO close to one another. it's hot. see how painfully in love babs is? she's got the look.

now while i would never actually take the time out of my valuable day to listen to one of her songs, i did grade them all by their titles & what i was doing while i read them. so here you have it.

1. come tomorrow
i like where its going, but not where its been. try harder. 4.5

2. hideaway
that's a movie, so babs, you lose points on originality, but this ice cream hits the spot so i'll give you a 6.0

3. stranger in a strange land
oh this one scares me. reminds me of that strange movie, scary movie. just because i'm watching it right now means nothing. 3.0

4. it's up to you
i like it because it's abstract. and just look at all those vowels in the title! 8.0

5. night of my life
tell me the dirty sticky details, babs. then again, no. though, this one really took the effort out of forcing myself to cry. it was beautiful and it made me feel beautiful because you're beautiful. nevermind. you've touched me. 6.0

6. above the law
danger. barry - hold that mad bojangler back! 9.5

7. without your love (along the way)
along the way to where? and without who's love? barry's? i don't get it. but brackets in song titles always deserve a 10.

8. all the children
all MY children. MY children. susan lucci, bitches! don't mess. 0.5

9. golden dawn
if i'm not mistaken, babs means golden showers. sicko. 1.0

10. (our love) don't throw it all away
words in brackets BEFORE the title! you're breaking the boundaries and lines and things! this is not the same as before. 5.0

11. letting
letting what? i don't even understand it. it's giving me cramps and making me think about landlord/tenant law. that's never good. 3.88


now i just want to leave you crazy kids with one everlasting thought. where's barry's hand going? and does that explain babs' face? that's nasty. i love it.