twilight: new fiction for the intellectually challenged

in order to save you from hours of hell, i have summarized the entirety of twilight in 20 dialogue snippets and an intermission. if you enjoy this, it will have been a much more entertaining read than the 500+ paged book of vampire crap that i read. how pathetic.

here it is, folks: twilight - a summary.

first 200 pages:

"i like you, edward!"

"you shouldn't! i'm dangerous!"

"i like you, edward!"

"but i'm dangerous!"

next 50 pages:

"i'm a vampire!"

"i like you, edward!"

"but i'm a vampire! i'm dangerous!"

"i like you, edward!"

next 100 pages:

"i like you, edward!"

"you smell good, bella. i'm dangerous!"

"i like you, edward!"

"damn, you smell good."

"i like you, edward!"

"also, i sparkle in sunlight."

next 50 pages:

A. VAMPIRE. BASEBALL. GAME. (i wish i was kidding)

last 100 pages:

"help me, edward! i'm being chased!"

"i'll save you!"

"help me, edward! i'm scared!"

"i'll save you!"

"oh, edward!"

"you smell good."